The Cheeseburger

My daughter and I had just finished a big day of back-to-school shopping.  We needed food.  Too tired to walk into a restaurant, we decide to go through a fast food chain drive-thru.

Angie likes Cheeseburgers---I don't.  She tells me she wants a cheeseburger and an order of fries.  I decide to I want a hamburger and fries.

The long line of cars finally shortens and I drive up to the speaker lady thingie <---(official technical term).

She asks:  "Can I take your order?"

Well, . . . to be politically and grammically correct, she should really say, "MAY I take your order."   It bugs me when order takerers <---- (official name) say that.

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I want to correct her.  Angie won't let me.  So, I say, "Yes, you MAY take my order."

Speaker lady:  "Um . . . then . . . what is it?"

I boldly order, "I'll have two cheeseburgers and two orders of fries."

She says, "Do you want everything on those cheeseburgers?"

I answser, "We'll have everything on one of the cheeseburgers, on the other one, please hold the cheese."

SPEAKER LADY:  ________________ (nuttin')

Me:  "Hello?  Did you hear my order?"

SPEAKER LADY:  (Long pause) . . . "Um . . . you ordered two cheeseburgers."

Me:  "Yah, so what?"

SPEAKER LADY:  "But you asked me to hold the cheese on one of 'em."

Me:  "Yah, so what?"

SPEAKER LADY:  "You ordered two cheeseburgers."

Me:  "Right."

SPEAKER LADY:  "You don't want cheese on one of your cheeseburgers?"

I'm thinking, man, this speaker lady is DENSE!  I say, "Right . . . two cheeseburgers---hold the cheese on one of 'em."

SPEAKER LADY:  But . . . but . . .

I interrupt.  "How hard is it to hold the cheese on one of the cheeseburgers?"  Jeez.  I wipe a drop of sweat off the end of my nose.  This lady is really frustrating me.

SPEAKER LADY:  "Um . . . okay, then . . . you'll have two cheeseburgers, one without cheese---is that correct?

Me:  "Don't forget the fries."  "Numbnutz" I say under my breath.  For some strange reason, my teenage daughter is lying on the floor of the car when we get to the window.  Teenagers are so weird.

As I pay for the order, Angie is on the floor the whole time.  She doesn't get up until we are well out of the sight of the fast food joint.  Teenagers can be so weird.

LESSON LEARNED:  Next time I order two cheeseburgers, hold the cheese, DON'T have a teenager in the car with me.