DON'T EVER DO THAT

I am fairly new to all this "internet" stuff.  But, since I started my little Wooden Writes Custom Gifts on Facebook and on www.grungygirl.etsy.com  I figure I need to learn more about the internet.  DON'T EVER DO THAT!

I know more about the internet world than I care to know.

Recently, I have learned about "buttons" (which I thought was on shirts), "tabs" (which is something I run up on my credit card), "thumbnails" (which I believed were things one pushes into a wall with one's thumb), "hacking" (which I thought was a cough---but found out that it is very rude), "phishing" (something you do in a pond or river---and I got accused of), "tagging" (which I still don't understand---I only know about freeze-tag) . . . there's so much more that I can't talk about.  (Still too upset) 

My first week on Facebook, I get banned for a week from making friends!  If fb doesn't want me to make friends, why do they keep telling me to do it?

After my 7 days in fb prison, I was allowed to make friends again.  WOO HOO.  The very next day, I find out that I'm banned from making friends for 14 days?  What the heck?  Why is fb telling me to do something, then putting me in prison for doing it?

Since I couldn't make friends on fb, I decide to try to make friends on the internet elsewhere.  DON'T EVER DO THAT!

I start exploring around . . . DON'T EVER DO THAT!

I see ads where I can make money by filling out surveys . . . DON'T EVER DO THAT!

I fill out so many surveys, that my poor puter jammed up.  I feel bad for it.  I even pat my puter while trying to comfort it and saying, "Don't worry, puter . . . I'll get us out of this mess." 

I learn that puters don't listen.  I get in lots more trouble---more trouble than one person should get into in a whole life time.  DON'T EVER DO THAT

I'm busy filling out one survey that makes me fill out another one, that makes me feel out another one . . . next thing is know, my phone is ringing off the hook and I find out that I have signed up for a year's worth of baby food, an ultra-sound for my baby (um . . . I'm 59 years old).  I even get a phone call from some company wanting to know when my baby is due.

Because of all the surveys I filled out, I am now being offered lessons on foreign languages, no charge baby pain relief kit (um . . . I'm 59 years old).

Yesterday, after hours of working my fingers to the bone filling out surveys, some guy calls me and asks when my baby is due.  I swear I marked my age and that I was not expecting on every one of those dumb surveys.

Here's the phone call:

One ringie dingie.  Two ringie dingies.  I look at the caller id . . . it's from an area code I don't recognize.  I answer the phone anyway (<---one dingie--me)

"Hello?"

"Can I speek wif Laarrrie Paaarree?"  He has an accent.

I answer, "You var speeking wif Laarrii Paaaree."  I have an accent too.

"Yes, I vas ust vonderin vhen your babe ith dooo or vhen you var planning on getting pragneet."  (I am not kidding---he asked me that . . . or . . . . that's what I think he asked.)

I lose my accent and literally yell into the phone, "I'M NOT PREGNANT, NOR DO I PLAN ON BECOMING PREGNANT (um . . . I'm 59 years old)  SO DON'T EVER CALL ME AGAIN!

I slam my cell phone's little flappy thingie <----(official name)

It took me all of last night and this morning to get myself out of half the trouble I got into.  Explore the world of the internet is not safe.  DON'T EVER DO THAT!

Lesson Learned:  Stay in Facebook prison---it's much safer